Looking toward the future and it's a dark abyss

Less than two months left of my undergraduate career and while I'm thrilled for it to be over, I must say, I'm scared out of my mind.

I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I feel like I haven't done enough in my life to know what I want to do.

While I loved working in a newspaper atmosphere, I don't really see myself headed in that direction. I loved working and writing for The Collegian, but I don't see it being something that I want to do with the rest of my life.

Now, I'm not saying that I made a mistake in picking print journalism as my major, because I didn't. I had a blast, met a ton of amazing people and learned a lot. I know I'm a better writer and a better person because of it all. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

To make matters worse, I am constantly discouraged in one of my classes because the professor is consistently saying how important it is to have an internship under your belt. I agree with this, but she makes me feel like since I don't have an internship to put on my resume, I'm not going to get anywhere for a long time. I was so close to having an internship too, but since the person I would be working for lost her job because of budget cuts, I lost my internship. Since I was only at Fresno State for two years (I was a transfer student), and working at The Collegian for one of those years, this was really the only semester that I could have done an internship. I was excited about the internship I almost had too. Working for the communications department at Community Medical Centers. It would have given me the chance to do something I haven't done before. I guess it wasn't meant to be though.

So basically right now, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do and where I'm supposed to be. I'm considering more and more graduate school in the next couple years, so we'll see where that takes me.

I think I just really want to experience more. I've applied for some jobs that I'm hoping to hear back from soon.

Target and Best Buy.
PicturePeople: Figured this would be fun since one of my passions is photography.
Photojojo: Granted, this would require internet connection and a comfortable seat since it's customer service related, but I thought it could be fun and teach me a lot.

Right now, I'm hoping for the best and waiting to see where God leads me.

In need of a major rejuvenation

Have you ever had a place literally take your breath away? I don't find it happening to me very often, or ever really, but it has happened.

These are the places that I want to go when I want to get away. When I need to replenish my soul. That may sound cheesy, but it couldn't be more true.

I'd venture to say one of the more obvious places is Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Mostly because that place holds a good portion of my heart, but also because it's simply a beautiful place with beautiful people. Now, this isn't one of those places that I can just jump in the car and get to in a few hours, but the memories always make feel better. This place changed my life, which is another blog for another time.

The following pictures were while on Sugarloaf in Brazil.

Another place, is the beach. Really, any beach will do. It's the ocean that I love. Not even swimming in it, because I don't like swimming in the ocean. It's just peaceful. I love the sound of the waves as they crash against the shore. I love the sand in between my toes. I love walking along the beach... not to sound like a lame classified advertisement.

There's just something about staring out into the ocean that brings me peace. It's just amazing God's creation. It's hard to describe. Now enjoy some more loveliness:

Then there's those times when I wish I were a bird and could just fly!

Finally, there's a place where I can say "this place took my breath away." It was so wonderful, in its entirety. A picture won't do it justice but I'll share anyway.

Know where it is yet?

Yup, Yosemite.
Yosemite is filled with amazing sites, but this is the one place that I just loved.
Now, I couldn't tell you where exactly in Yosemite, because I don't remember. What I do remember is that to get to this, you had to walk down and around this walkway and looking between two trees was this huge green meadow, mountains, a waterfall, several trees and a deer eating. It was if this moment was made for me. I can't explain it. Writing this, it reminds me of an excerpt I love from a book called "Captivating" written by John and Stasi Elderedge. I know it's long, but it's beautiful and the best way to describe my thoughts on this.

"Every song you love, every memory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears has been given to you from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart. God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying tress, lush gardens, and fierce devotion. This romancing is immensely personal. It will be as if it has been scripted for your heart. He knows what takes your breath away, knows what makes your heart beat faster. We have missed many of his notes simply because we shut out hearts down in order to ...endure the pain of life. Now, in our healing journey, we must open our hearts again, and keep them open. Not foolishly, not to anyone and anything. But yes, we must choose to open our hearts again so that we might hear His whispers receive His kisses."

I thank God for these places and that He gave me the chance to experience them. I hope I get to do so again several times in the future.

With that said, I could really use a rejuvenation. Just a day away from this place. Any of these places will do, really. Just me, my camera, the world God created and probably Sam too. :)


Now I'm interested in where you go and what you do to rejuvenate. Leave what you have to say in the comments because I'd love to know.