Looking toward the future and it's a dark abyss

Less than two months left of my undergraduate career and while I'm thrilled for it to be over, I must say, I'm scared out of my mind.

I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I feel like I haven't done enough in my life to know what I want to do.

While I loved working in a newspaper atmosphere, I don't really see myself headed in that direction. I loved working and writing for The Collegian, but I don't see it being something that I want to do with the rest of my life.

Now, I'm not saying that I made a mistake in picking print journalism as my major, because I didn't. I had a blast, met a ton of amazing people and learned a lot. I know I'm a better writer and a better person because of it all. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

To make matters worse, I am constantly discouraged in one of my classes because the professor is consistently saying how important it is to have an internship under your belt. I agree with this, but she makes me feel like since I don't have an internship to put on my resume, I'm not going to get anywhere for a long time. I was so close to having an internship too, but since the person I would be working for lost her job because of budget cuts, I lost my internship. Since I was only at Fresno State for two years (I was a transfer student), and working at The Collegian for one of those years, this was really the only semester that I could have done an internship. I was excited about the internship I almost had too. Working for the communications department at Community Medical Centers. It would have given me the chance to do something I haven't done before. I guess it wasn't meant to be though.

So basically right now, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do and where I'm supposed to be. I'm considering more and more graduate school in the next couple years, so we'll see where that takes me.

I think I just really want to experience more. I've applied for some jobs that I'm hoping to hear back from soon.

Target and Best Buy.
PicturePeople: Figured this would be fun since one of my passions is photography.
Photojojo: Granted, this would require internet connection and a comfortable seat since it's customer service related, but I thought it could be fun and teach me a lot.

Right now, I'm hoping for the best and waiting to see where God leads me.

Dating vs. Marriage: School edition

This past weekend, Sam and I visited our families in Porterville. It was the first time we'd been back since we returned from our honeymoon.

Sunday morning, I went to the church that Sam (well, when he's in town) and his family attend regularly. Since Sam was playing bass there, I went over to the church that I normally attend, sans the husband.

I got there a little early. Saw a lady that I haven't seen in a while and started talking with her. We were talking about my recent marriage and school. She says, "Isn't it so much easier being married while being in school than it is dating?"

I couldn't agree with her more.Granted, I've only been married a little under two months.

This got me thinking about how many different thoughts and experiences there are on this.

For some reason, I had always thought you were supposed to graduate college, then get married. It wasn't until I was talking with a friend of mine a few years back, that it actually hit me that it was okay to get married while still being in college. She was telling me that her and her husband got married while still in school and things turned out well for them. If I'm being completely honest, I never even really thought about getting married until I was done with school.

Back in April, when Sam proposed, I remember a few reactions from some were a little off.
"So, are you quitting school then?"

Um. No. What kind of a reaction is that to "I'm getting married!" Why would I quit school because I was getting married, especially since I only had one semester left?

Just another interesting thought on the whole being married while still in school.

The best part is that there's no more:
"I need to get going because I have homework to do."
I can still be with Sam at home and do my homework. It's really rather great!

So, as long as there's no babies, I'm pro being married and going to school.